Since Easter when mum went into Caritas Christi she has deteriorated considerably, almost daily, but she always keeps her spirits high. She has non stop visitors and non stop phone calls. One of the staff members confided in me that the lady in the room next to mum's asked the staff member "Aren't I coping as well as I could with my cancer?" and the staff member was surprised and asked why she would ask that, and the response was "There's always so much happiness and laughter coming from the room next door." (Mum’s room!) We certainly didn't want others to feel worse off. So I close the door now, so as not to disturb others, but the staff love the happiness emanating from Mum's room. Yesterday when mum was too tried to talk, I just sang to her, and as weak as she was, she burst into song with me.
Mum's condition now is a day to day proposition. She is not in pain, but she is certainly very very weak, exhausted and nearing the end. She can't walk and when she does get up, she then can't talk for a while and has to resort to hand-actions to non-verbally communicate her wishes. She rests with her eyes closed a lot. But talk about mentally alert. My goodness, there isn't a thing she can't remember. She still writes lists at night and can remember everyone’s phone number by heart still. However everything is an effort. It's amazing to see such an active vital person change so much, and the lack of ability and independence is a real trial for her. She asked me to go to church and pray for God to take her. I did that, but just as he doesn’t listen to her prayers, he’s not listening to mine on her behalf, either.
The staff at Caritas are just fantastic. The only thing that is not sensational is the food brought in by the catering company. So we cook or sometimes by her favourite foods and bring them in daily so that hse has something to look forward to. The staff absolutely loved Greek Easter that was a couple of weeks ago, as we brought in spinach pie, and the smell slowly brought them in like a magnet. Soon the recipe was being typed in the office and copies distributed. Since then, we get daily updates on who's cooked mums recipe. They are a great freindly lot of people. Mum has wonderful casupport; they are patient and love her dearly. One nurse walked in and commented on her room decoration.
"Melpo your room is beautiful, but what else would you expect, so are you." they are always busy, but nothing is too much for them. We wanted to play some Greek music for mum that Marshall had put onto CD for me from our old Sunday family matinees music, we asked the pastoral care lady and within minutes a CD player turned up. And this is how they are about everything. It's truly a magically caring place, not a place of death.They have a commemorative plaque wall in the atrium where they make ceramic plaques with 4 fingerprints which they turn into butterflies. It's so beautiful. We have made ours with mum in advance. (We are noted for being super organised!)
. The Hospice provides an art and craft room for both patients and their families and it really has been our saving grace. Veronica was in her room drawing one day and I encouraged Mya to go and show her her own drawings and thus started a wonderful "artistic friendship". Mya draws for Veronica and Veronica draws for Mya. They are real soul mates - their bond in unbelievable. There are also toys in the art room and other children play in the room, so Mya either draws them into artistic activities with her or she downs her pencils and play with the toys with them. Mya happily sits in there for hours drawing making cards, and bringing them in to show her Yaya and myself. Mya has endeared herself to many of the staff too, and they all compliment her on her drawings. So she is well known and missed on the days she does not visit. Even though Loretta and I go every day, I try to limit Mya to every second day, so that her life doesn't get too focussed on the hospice. Any longer though, and Mya pines to visit her grandma.To this end Mya's school mate Tamlyn and her sister Natasha and parents Margit and Marshall have been such a great support to our family. They have had Mya for sleep overs and taken her out on outings some weekends, and this weekend when Mya saw Yaya in very poor shape, just took her for the weekend at very short notice.
She went fishing and picnicking with them....much better than being in a hospital with every one terminally ill. My gratitude to them is immeasurable. 
I also have to especially thank Margit for being the "brave mum " at Luna Park. She took Mya on all the fast and scary rides and I did all the gentle ambling rides and activities, like the one above - that was exactly my pace. What a great compromise!
At the ripe age of 6, Mya flew to Sydney by herself. Boy the paperwork was tough, but she had a brilliant time with Emma, Yuko and John. They went to the Aquarium in Sydney and had lots of play time and fun. Mya just loves Emma and the feeling is mutual. Before leaving, Mya would constantly ask me "How many days mum? How many days mum till I see Emma." When I said "Two days darling" she replied" Can't we fast-forward that!"
IN AMONGST THAT AND ALL THE REST OF THINGS THAT GO WITH a 6 year old and a terminally ill mother... Loretta and I have been closing down mum's Independent Living Unit. We have been staying there since mum went into respite and then permanently into Caritas. Yes, don't laugh at the age of 51 I have been living in an Aged Care Facility for the past 3 months!!!! It's hysterical really. I quite like it.
The other 7 neighbours have become great companions and of course they all love me now because almost every second day I cook something for Mya, such as cakes, slices, biscuits, muffins, or pancakes, and distribute the rest to them for supper - to keep the kilos off my hips!
Anyway by Tuesday we will be finished and hand over the keys. Costa came down from Pambula to help and yesterday Nick gave a hand too... Its' amazing what we have found....
HISTORICAL AND HYSTERICAL
My grandfather's medals that I thought I'd lost at a primary school Anzac Day parade, but which had in fact been misplaced between our Fawkner home and Doncaster home move 37 years ago. All those years of guilt for nothing. With the medals were his discharge papers, personally signed by the then Minister for Defence VENIZELOUS, who went on to become one of Greece's most famous Prime Ministers. My grandmother’s Education Certificates from Asia Minor signed 1902 and a myriad of priceless items such as my parent's wedding Stephania.
In the hysterical department were family photos that one could use as serious blackmail to prevent them even being made public. But funnily enough our favourite photo is of one Christmas when we had all eaten beyond our capabilities (now that's an oxymoron if ever there was one) and no one wanted to be Father Christmas. So mum got her Christmas hat on, jumped on to Chris's skateboard and turned a broom upside down imitating a gondolier steering a gondola on her beautiful lounge room parquetry. Let it not be said our family is a little crazy, but to this day, nothing will stop us having fun and enjoying happiness.....not even cancer.
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