15) Farewell mum, whenever you go.

ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Wherever we go
Wherever you’ll be
You’ll always be
A part of me.

From birth till today,
You’ve shown me the way
To be the best I can
Day by day.

You’ve touched many lives
And many hearts too
You’re their mum too
And in return they all love you.

But we who were lucky
To have lived our lives with you
Were truly blessed to have you
As our Mum and Yaya too.

Whenever you are ready
Go in peace to your beloved and
Go in confidence
that you will always be with us.

You have done a magnificent job,
An exemplary life,
Dignified and with grace
A wonderful woman, mother and wife.

You’re in our blood
You’re in our hearts
You’re in our minds
Your strength and unconditional love
is
ALWAYS AND FOREVER

With our deepest love and gratitude

Miranda, George and Mya.

Mum goes in for final surgery tomorrow morning. She knows today could be her last day. She's said her farewells and written her last cards and letters, she's told us all again how much we mean to her and how much she loves us. She said to George tonight, "I'm going to be selfish and hope for another 4 or 5 weeks with my family". All I can say is I'll always remember she lived every day (good and bad) with dignity, and if this is not the end, we'll be blessed with more wisedom and love from this remarkable lady..

14) Happy Birthday Loretta

How old is your aunty?

Yummy dinner, sparklers that nearly set our house on fire, and the most delicious chocolate on chocolate cake, baked hastely between hospital visits.

You've made mum proud.

Many Happy Returns

and happiness throughout the year.

Happy birthday SIS (Nona).

13) Back to hospital...Now it's family time.

"Thanks everyone"

A few of Mum's birthday bouquets.

(she loved them all )

The four girls at home.

On Saturday we called the locum doctor who prescribed a new lot of antibiotics. Mum couldn't tolerate them. We called the doctor on Sunday morning, who fortunately was her regular doctor. He prescribed different medication, but she continued to decline rapidly in the afternoon, not being able to eat or even drink.

Unfortunately her temperature continued to rise until it went up to 39.4 . We have a wonderful support service (not-for-profit organisation) called Eastern Palliative care, who give us 24 hours support. With their advice and intervention, we called an ambulance and the hospital accepted her immediately.

She was administered with antibiotics and antiemetic in the Emergency Department and admitted to the ward after x-rays found clear lungs. So the next obvious thing was that it was an infection in the stent that had been put in last month. Her specialist had told her when she had the previous operation that in 6 - 8 weeks she'd probably need to have it cleared or replaced.

This morning they offered her surgery to clear or replace the stent. She again asked many questions and it was explained to her that if she didn't have the operation it would be the end. She told them she wanted time to think about it.

Of course her first thought was us. Mum said "It'd be selfish of me to continue when you're torn from your homes, your lives, your husbands." We both instilled in her the importance of making decisions for herself, not considering everyone else first. Neither of us were worried about staying longer.

We of course leave all these decisions to her. She then decided "I will have one more stent operation, because I still have unfinished business”, and then she said “that’s it though, if I survive this one.”

She realises now that having so many visitors actually stopped her from getting her things done. As much as she enjoys visitors and they bring her a lot of happiness and joy, it stops her from getting her rest too.....

Everyone has had a chance to see her for the last time, which was a gift, and now she’s seen everyone.... It is family time. We only have 4 weeks left at best. Luckily the doctor said absolutely NO VISITORS for a week. She can actually get some rest and recuperate.

We don’t want to see her again in the state she was yesterday when we sent her to hospital. It was pitiful. So, today she did a very important job that’s been sitting around waiting for the right time. I also got to do some family history with her. Someone said, she looks better than me; rosy complexion , legendary grand smile - "It's hard to believe she's even ill." they said. I can tell you, we certainly knew on the weekend!

Tonight I’ve taken the phone off the hook - it was unrelenting, as soon as I put the phone down, it rang again. I need to spend time with Mya when I get home, and we need sleep to keep up our stamina. Please understand, we have to take care as carers and make the most of this special time. I’ll send Mya to school and then field all the phone calls in the morning, till I go to see her into hospital at 11 when visiting hours start.

Well dear friend, that’s all the news. Thanks for reading the blog, it saves me a lot of time repeating the same information. I appreciate your interest and concern. We now know time is precious.

Keep well. Lots of love Miranda

Yippee...George arrives in 2 more sleeps!

Happy birthday to Loretta tomorrow (29th) - no.. not 29th birthday, 29th of May!!

12) DOCTOR'S ORDERS

Mum had a big Birthday, BUT she was up from 9 am in the morning when the nurse arrived, to 9pm when the last visitors left. Unfortunately, mum's pnuemonia (that we assumed had passed), flared up once again.

We had to call the doctor again and he wanted to admit her to hospital, but she wanted to stay home. So he agreed on the following condition:

DOCTOR’S ORDERS

No visitors until further notice.

Sorry no exceptions Melpo is very ill.

ΟΔΗΓΙΕΣ ΓΙΑΤΡΟΥ

Απαγορεύονται οι περαιτέρω επισκέψεις μέχρι νεωτέρων πληροφοριών.
Συγνώμη αλλά εξαιρέσεις δεν γίνονται γιατί η Μέλπω είναι πολύ άρρωστη

**************

When she recovers from this episode, the following will be posted:

DOCTOR’S ORDERS·

• Visiting hours are strictly between 1 – 3 pm each day·
• No more than 2 visitors at a time·
• Visits are not to last more than 15 minutes·
• Please ring in advance, to check if Melpo is able to see any visitors

Sorry - no exceptions - Melpo is very ill.

ΟΔΗΓΙΕΣ ΓΙΑΤΡΟΥ
· Οι ώρες επίσκεψης είναι αποκλειστικά
· από τις 1-3 μμ κάθε μέρα.
· Όχι παραπάνω από 2 επισκέπτες την ίδια ώρα
· Οι επισκέψεις να είναι το πολύ 15 λεπτά διαρκείας
· Παρακαλείστε να τηλεφωνάτε από πριν για να βεβαιωθείτε ότι η Μέλπω είναι σε θέση να δεχτεί επισκέψεις.
Συγνώμη - εξαιρέσεις δεν γίνονται γιατί η Μέλπω είναι πολύ άρρωστη

Mum needs to regain her strength, and conserve it. We hope everyone will understand.

(if you click on the green box to the right, where it says "85 years old today" - you will read what a lovely time she had on her birthday)

11) 85 years old today! WELL DONE MUM

Mya, Noor, Loretta, Nick, Jessica, Jen, Costa and mum having a delicious dinner for mum's 85th Birthday.

Well, Mum made it to her 85th birthday!!! This is despite the cancer, and pnuemonia which seems to have completely cleared. She looks well again.

We had a delicious dinner. Costa cooked Greek Chicken on the spit - (Evan style). There were salads and the usual yummy fare prepared by Loretta and Noor. I brought the champagne and the Pavlova birthday cake which her grand-daughter Mya and great-grand-daughter Jessica decorated with the numerous candles. It was a very special, happy and delectable birthday celebration.

Mum's house is full of bouquets and floral arrangements. The doorbell didn't stop with delivery men and women bringing flowers, visitors calling in, the phone didn't stop with friends ringing to give their best wishes. The table was full of birthday cards.

Mum was ecstatic having her family with her on this special celebration day. In a few days time the rest of the family will gather again . Chris will be here from Queensland and George will be arriving from Singapore.

Happy Birthday Mum, from all of us.

(to read the lovely birthday wishes Mum received, click on the word "comments" in the next line)

10) Mum's favourite sayings and anecdotes

These are a collection of sayings and stories mum recently asked me to type for her - they have been written by various people:

· When life knocks you flat on your back, it certainly puts you in a grand position for looking up!

· A little girl threw a tantrum and was sent to her room in disgrace. Sometime later she came out of her room with a letter for her mother. “Dear Mum,I hate you, All my love Alice.”

· Much as I admire and sincerely appreciate the skills of our scientists, surgeons, doctors and nurses, there is undoubtedly something special about the healing power of your own home, that beats all other medicine.

· You must feel very proud when you hear of clever pupils who have gone on to do great things. “Yes” said the teacher “but the ones I am most proud of are those who perhaps were not that bright academically, but have found jobs, made good marriages and are living quiet, decent lives. They are my star pupils.

· For the lonely – time can drag, For the busy – time flies.

· Don’t worry if your load is uphill. The view from the top could be breathtaking.

· Maybe life is not quite the same for me these days (partially blind –with a walking stick) but, I have so many memories to keep me company. No one can take them away from me - I am fortunate.

· Don’t let anything come out of your mouth without going through tour brain first.

9) Anniversary outing and around Melbourne

Don't worry, Mya IS wearing a lifejacket under her pink Jacket!

Studley Park Boat House where George and I got married.

We had a ball at the Studley Park Boat House . I chose to go there because 12 years ago today, at exactly the same time, George and I were tying the knot. He couldn’t be here because he was on the way back to Singapore from China. Ha! Another Anniversary spent apart! It appears we make a habit of it. Over the years we’ve spent more Anniversaries apart, than together. I’ve made a lunch reservation at the Boat House for the end of the month when her returns to Australia.

Mya, Noor and I fed the ducks. I took Mya out on a row boat on the Yarra River and it was really a special mother and daughter time, especially visiting the duck nests and rowing under the huge walk bridge. We had an Aussie meat pie picnic in the car because Noor was cold.

Then we went to the city. We saw Chinatown where Mya shouted;” WOW!” when she saw the Chinese gateways. We went down past Parliament House, Federation Square where they were celebrating Vesak Day (Buddha’s birthday), past Flinders Street Station with its legendary clocks, up past the ANZ bank buildings where mum worked when she first came to Australia, onto Lonsdale Street to the Greek quarter, Victoria Market which was really alive with shoppers and buskers, Lygon Street and its Italian quarter... and then we finally came home.

My friend Sheila bought Mya a makeup set. At the ripe age of 5 ½ Mya was applying lipstick, eye shadow and nail polish. It was such a scream to watch. This child is going to have nothing left to experience!! But it was a lot of fun. She wasn’t going to eat her dinner tonight because she didn’t want to spoil her lipstick, and wouldn’t pick up the fork or take a bath in case her nail polish became smudged. It was hysterical. I did make sure I sorted her out on all those issues.

Tonight, Mya, Noor, Mum and I played cards. It was an exercise in patience. Then we put on the video of today’s outing to the Boat House. Mum’s face just lit up as if she’d been on the outing herself. She thoroughly enjoyed experiencing our outing on video.

Of course she couldn’t come with us today, because she is far too frail. But this didn't stop the stream of visitors and phone calls. She is beginning to find all of this quite tiring. Soon we will have to ask people to make their visits no more than ½ an hour. As the doctor said, she needs to conserve her energy. She occasionally looks really well, but she also has periods of very short breath and frailty. Given that she has both cancer and pneumonia , we are very lucky that she has no pain and no coughing fits. Most people cannot believe that she is so ill.

8) Good days followed by a Tough Day but a lovely night

The last few days have been really amazing. The day before yesterday Mum got the physical courage up to go and visit her friend in hospital who has had a quadruple by-pass. Yesterday we took her to the church because it was her best friend's husband's funeral. She only stayed for a short time just to pay her respects and give her condolences to her friend of 50 years.

Today mum is very unwell. She was short of breath and dozing on and off until late afternoon. We called the doctor and he prescribed some anti-biotics because she has developed pneumonia in one lung and it seems to be moving to the other. She perked up in the afternoon.

This evening we called her good friend Father Doukas, who came and cheered her up no - end. They have been friends for many years (since before he was ordained - he, mum and dad used to entertain the elderly at the nursing homes and many fundraising functions. He played the accordion and joined the singers.) After a night of reminiscing and laughter with the priest and his wife, Father Doukas performed communion. He told her that this service was not the last rights or a death sentence, rather it was medicine. After giving her communion her kissed her and told her what a special woman she was. He's a great man. He came with his wife - driving in the night all the way from Frankston (an hour away) because he said if he didn't come straight away, he couldn't have slept that night. He said "I'll come back and visit soon - your daughter makes good Greek coffee!" He was so uplifting with his humour.

Mum's resting peacefully now, and we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Saturday 19th May 2007:

We made it through the night, I went in during the night and checked mum several times and after she got over her fever, I went back to bed, and lay there listening to her singing lovely Greek Hymns. It was wonderful. I finally fell asleep.

This morning (Sat 19th) is my late father's birthday and tomorrow George's and my 12th Wedding Anniversary. We hope that mum will make it to her 85th birthday next week - on the 25th May. If you would like to send her a message, please write to my normal email address and I will make sure mum sees it. Four days after that it’s Loretta’s birthday. It's a month of celebrations and mostly a celebration of Mum's life. We are hoping that everyone will be together on the 3th of June to celebrate Jes’, Nick’s and Jen’s birthday too, and on the 4th we are having a complete extended family party for Mum 85th, complete with a photographer...That’s the plan, but we are taking it a day at a time.

7) HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Today was Mother’s Day. I was greeted by my little girl bringing me a tray with buttered toasted raisin loaf and a cup of coffee in bed... All made by herself but supervised by Loretta. I received a lovely present which her father had ordered for me at Mya’s school before he returned to Singapore. Mya brought it home with the help of my sister, who also arranged the wrapping and hiding of the present.

Mya had made a card for me and her "grand mamma" - that's half English, half Greek. The funniest thing was that after school on Friday when the secret mission took place, I asked her if she had made me a card at school. She replied, “Shhh Mum, it’s a secret! And don’t look in the bathroom cupboard.” I fell over laughing thinking that she had given the game away, but in fact the clever little squirt had said that as a decoy! Loretta told me it wasn’t ever in the bathroom cupboard.

We later ate delicious bacon and eggs, and even mum indulged. For lunch, we had a great spread of foods that we hadn’t tasted in a long time. Later in the afternoon we headed off to one of mum’s favourite places for Mother’s Day. We drove to the Yarra River at Warburton, where we used to go as a family with our own Yaya. It was very special.

On the way there and back, I did the obligatory stops at all the craft/quilt shops It was great fun. Everyone got home tired but happy. Mum, Noor and Mya were in bed by 8pm. Mum and I had plenty of time to chat on the long journey, as Mya had fallen asleep in the car.

The views along the drive were stunning and lots of childhood memories arose, because we used to visit Warburton regularly. Our family had bought a property many years ago, after mum had a week of convalescence in a motel below the sanatorium when she had her one and only illness I can ever remember – pleurisy. The air is always fresh and crisp and our block looked straight across to Mount Donna Buang. The country atmosphere hasn’t changed over the years, and the 21st Century has certainly not caught up with Warburton. It’s still a great country township among the mountains.
As I write this, mum may well be dreaming of the lovely rippling clear waters of the Yarra River, the brisk fresh air, the green-blue hues of the eucalyptus trees surrounding her and adorning the stunning Mountain backdrops. She may be sleeping and reliving the memories of her mother, her husband, herself, her daughters, her and granddaughter on the same banks of the river over the many years......on this very special and last Mother’s Day we will have with her.

6)HOME AT LAST, BUT NOT FOR LONG

1. 
   

MUM COMES TO THE SHOW, BUT WHO'S THAT IN HER WHEELCHAIR?

Yesterday, mum came home at last!

After 3 weeks in 2 hospitals, mum finally came home. Now, anyone who knows our family well is aware that mum is a fantastic cook. When it comes to her toaster however, she and the toaster have daily fights over the temperature setting. Mum wins, but the toaster gets it’s occasional revenge and the toast gets burnt in the tussle. It’s a family joke, that such a brilliant, competent cook actually manages to burn the toast.
So how did we welcome mum home? We purposely burnt some toast so that we could welcome her home to the familiar sights, sounds AND SMELLS of her home. Nothing like a good belly laugh. Mum enjoyed the joke immensely.
But the joke didn’t stop there. In trying to remove the toast, I turned the toaster upside down and of course it stopped working. That’s not the first time I’ve done that either, but fortunately our friend Keith had come to visit Mum and he was called on to perform his handyman magic. Once again, he saved the day (and my neck).
Mum settled back into her beloved home straight away, sitting in her lounge room enjoying the greenery and the spectacular views from her front and back lounge windows. We started offering her some home cooked meals and her failing appetite was soon grateful she was home. It was a busy start with lots of visitors and nonstop phone calls from all around the world. She went to bed tired and content.

Today Loretta, Sue, Noor, Mya and I went to the Royal Women’s Hospital ner the city to see a magnificent Mother’s Day Quilt Show. Mother’s Day is 2nd Sunday in May in Australia. All the quilts were made by employees of the hospital – from doctors to cleaners, what talented people! Loretta had hired a wheelchair for mum yesterday, so Mum only had to manage the steps from the house to the car.

There was lots of "ooh"ing and "ahh"ing at the quilt show. And there was more laughter when I nearly lost mum and Mya down the gutter. I never was good at wheelchairs - I hadn’t put the brake on whilst she was on a slope. Mya loved it too, because she got to sit on Yaya’s knee on the wheelchair. She didn't care where we were going - she was just enjoying the ride. So I nearly lost 2 out of the party of 6 in the first few minutes. We also had a great grandprix race to the car - the two of them were giggling like anything as I sped them around giving them a great laugh as they held on to the wheelchair for their lives.

Another funny thing happened. We had taken two cars to the show; Loretta's larger car had the wheelchair in the boot, along with Mya and Noor as her passengers. I took Mum and Sue in my smaller car. There were horrendous road works going on around the hospital and many nearby streets cut off to vehicular traffic, so we parked quite a distance away from each other. After enjoying the show, we put mum back into my car, while Loretta wheeled Mya in the wheelchair back to their car for a bit of fun. But the funny part was that all the workmen stopped their machinery and road-works and helped Loretta wheel Mya across the bumpy uneven road tarmac. Isn’t it nice to know those burly workmen took pity on the little "old" lady (my sister is 5 years my senior) whilst pushing a "pseudo disabled" child across the road works...(sorry for the descriptions Loretta and Mya). But it was a hilarious story.
Mum really enjoyed the Melbourne Autumn weather – it was a brilliant 20+ degrees Celsius and blue skies.

Nick, Jen and Jessica then arrived to wish their mother, grandmother and great grandmother a Happy Mother’s Day.

5) HOW'S MYA COPING?

I can 't wait to pick her up from school (literally!)

The prelude to this photo was that she was climbing the monkey-bars whilst holding her book in one hand and reading. Half way across, she let go and fell to the ground, then lay there reading the book as if nothing had happened! Waiting to give us a laugh.


Everyone’s been asking "How’s Mya doing? How’s she settling in Australia ? How’s she coping at school?"

Well, I’m really happy to say that this move has been the easiest. She went to her new school without trepidation, and has mixed in really well. The school is quite small (120 pupils) and has a really nice family feel to it.

Everyone is friendly towards newcomers. Mya already has two boyfriends, Matthew and Andrew (twin Chinese boys) –and she wants to marry them both. (Sorry to Ryan in Singapore - you've been flicked.) Roll on adolescence!

We were spying on her from afar one day as we were going to pick her up at the end of the school day. There her class was lining up to go from the art room back into her classroom to prepare for dismissal. Mya grabbed Matthew’s hand and they walked up the footpath (or was that the aisle?). It was so cute to see. She then planted a kiss on him, and at home time she gave him a hug.

Mya is doing really well behaviour-wise too. Is it that she senses this is not the time to play up, or has she grown out of that stage? Whatever the reason, she’s much easier to manage at the moment – even with Dad’s absence. I miss her and can’t wait to pick her up from school.

We are also getting a lot more "fun homework" done. The other day I taught her some fractions using a huge ANZAC biscuit. And because she did so well, she got to eat the whole thing for breakfast – hah! Mya was going to school straight after breakfast, so the teacher had the sugar-hyper child, not me. But what a reward that was for such a fantastic first attempt and effort with fractions .

She got the concept of quarters, halves and three quarters straight away – well she had such an incentive didn’t she. As you can see from the photo she actually wrote the fractions down too. When she showed it to her teacher, her teacher said “Oh you’ve been doing "hard maths” and Mya replied, “No we’ve been doing yummy biscuits!” I think that was a really good introduction to how much FUN maths can be!

She’s giving her YAYA lots of hugs and kisses, and on Friday (Fish and Chip and Video night in the Rowlands family, because she doesn’t get to watch any TV during the week), Mya sat on the couch with her loving grandma and they watched the Sound of Music together. It was a picture.

4) THE ABSCONDING DAUGHTERS & THE HOME VISIT

Yesterday, Loretta and I visited Mum at the Rehab hospital until 11 am. We then took to the highways and byways of South East Gippsland - Warragul, Trafalgar and Yarragon. What a glorious drive through the hills. We ended up visiting every quilt shop throughout the area. What can I say? Seventh Heaven!

Today mum and the occupational therapist (OT) from the rehabilitation hospital came home and went through all the changes that needed to happen within the house to ensure Mum’s safety.

We cheekily put down a red carpet mat to welcome mum home for her home visit, and of course the Occupational therapist said, “That’s a bit dangerous,” to which we replied in unison, “We know...and we knew that you were going to say that.” Laughter all round........
After measuring everything and watching mum get around her house, the OT made some simple suggestions to make it safer and easier for mum to return home. When it was time for mum to go back to the hospital, we tried to bribe the OT to leave her at home, but the OT wasn’t going to be persuaded. So we have to wait another 2 days.
As they were leaving, mum had to negotiate the 16 steps from the front door down to the street level. The OT was walking backwards ahead of mum to catch her if she fell. Mum in her inimitable humorous way said, ”Get out of the way, I’m ok”. Then she proceeded to literally skip down the stairs. You could never tell she has had 4 operations on her hip!!

As you can see, mum is still in good spirits and in good health. She is very grateful that there has been NO pain or discomfort. The only thing is that she has lost 5 kilos, and that’s 10% of her weight.

We’ve whizzed around to buy all the provisions we will need to entice mum’s appetite, as well as to cope with the number of people who we anticipate will start visiting her from next week. Our house, as many of you know, has a "running" kitchen operating any hour that there are guests. We are expecting to have to work out a schedule of visiting hours to cope with the onslought of loving family and friends.

Mum will be turning 85 on the 25th of May. She doesn’t want a party, but I’m sure she will be inundated with visitors. Hopefully they won’t bring any more chocolates, because we feel obliged to relieve her of the temptations by devouring them ourselves (ha ha ha).... Mum especially likes Bacci chocolates – but she is more reluctant to share those ones. (Drats, we love them too!)

Instead of presents, which she doesn’t not need or really appreciate at this stage in life, we have suggested to all her friends and family to write a letter which contains how they met, what mum has meant to them and any special memories. We have already received quite a few and they are a lovely tribute to a lovely lady.

3) KIDNAPPING THE PATIENT

We had a wonderful day today. When we went to pick up mum was resting from doing her strengthening exercises in the gym. She looked tired and out of breath. We took mum from the hospital after we filled out her “Kidnapping the Patient Forms”. The Physiotherapist lent us a wheel chair and off we went.

Mum’s always loved the florist in Donvale – It has received many Awards over the years, and she used to take groups of friends just to admire the floral arrangements and the beautiful gifts they have in the shop. This shop is located 200 metres from where mum’s rehabilitation hospital is.

We enjoyed the sunshine and mum’s spirits picked up the minute she hit the fresh air. The sun was shining and there was no wind – just perfect. We wheeled her to the shopping strip and had a leisurely time looking at tall the gift shops and a lovely long time in the florist where I took lots of photos so that I can bring the florist to her hospital bed – via my computer. She will have a slide show to relive all the joy, whenever she wants of all the beautiful bouquets and floral arrangements she saw today.

Loretta bought mum some lunch because the hospital food was too spicy (even for me – let alone a patient whose appetite is reducing by the day) and then we left her to have a long awaited afternoon rest. We were happy to hear that because with the long stream of visitors and some visiting for lengthy periods of time, she’s been quite tired. We will have to be a bit more protective when she comes home, because we want her to conserve her strength.

I walked from home to Mya’s school stopping on the way to sit in a cafe by myself in the warm sunshine and just reflect on the happiness and gratitude mum had today.

Mya’s school is the primary school that was attached to my secondary school (the latter was pulled down due to the greediness one of our Premiers, who sold out education to real estate developers by demolishing schools and selling school land privately - he made a healthy surplus for his government). Mya’s school is a very rare gem. There are only 100 students there and it still has all the facilities found in the whizz-bang modern large student number schools that are more common today. When I arrived I found I had overestimated the time it took to walk to school, as I was ¾ hour early – I must have dawdled when I was a teenager.

I volunteered my time to the office staff, and they put me in the library to sort books. I’d finished in 15 minutes so I stacked books and tidied the entire library, then washed down all the shelves and bookshelves. Ahhh it was a good workout. The librarian will be surprised tomorrow morning to find the “library fairy” had visited.

When Mya was dismissed from class she took me in to show me her classroom. She loves the corner with all the kids’ size lounge furniture. She said “Mum, I love this school.” WOW what a relief.

We had a bus ride home, because Mya was already exhausted by the time we got to the first bus stop, let alone getting all the way home. It was an adventure for both of us. I can’t remember the last time I got on an Australian bus, maybe 15 years ago. I had to ask the bus driver how I bought a ticket. Of course with my Aussie accent he was totally confused as to why I wouldn’t know.

Tonight Mya made pizzas for us all, getting ideas from the kid’s recipe book I borrowed for her from the local library. They were really delicious. She was so keen to ring her Yaya to tell her all the news, of her mum’s spring cleaning the library, the bus ride home and her cooking. Mum later reported that the nurse who answered the phone was really chuffed to hear Mya speak a few words of Mandarin to her.

All in all it was a really good day today, as we were wheeling mum to her favourite shop, we knew what a special and memorable day this was.

2) From Brett and Angie

Angie was kind enough to set up blog for us, but being completely new to Bloggin, I couldn't find it, after searching everywhere for it - my inexperience, so I started from scratch and then found their hard work. (sorry Ange) Oh well it forced me again into the 21st century. Thanks to Brett and Ange for both of the photos on the blog.

I'll add their blog message here:

Wednesday 2nd May 2007

Hi Yaya
Just thought I'd drop you a quick line to say thank you for accepting Ange and I into your family, and for giving us both fantastic memories. I fondly recall the time we spent as a family together in Greece and how the whole family in Greece was so happy to see you. For me that was very special. And of course the time in Singapore and the UK when you were visiting Miranda and Dad and Mya and Ange and I were lucky enough to be there. Ange and I think of you often and those recipes we copied have been enjoyed in our own place. See, the travel bug has taken your recipes to South Africa now....the power of a fantastic cook!
Yaya, I am so happy I have had the chance to spend time with you and to have gleaned some knowledge from such a wise person. Good luck with your procedure today, I'm sure everything will work out fine.
Lots of Love from South Africa

Brett and Angie

P.S. I have attached a lovely photo of you from when we were in Aus.

1) YAYA MELPO'S JOURNEY

This is my mum a few months ago. A dynamo. An amazingly strong woman. Until recently a picture of health. Today is the 6th of May 2007. 3 weeks ago, on a Friday she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She looked so well no one (not even she) knew that there was anything going wrong.
Finally some symptoms arose and she pursued them with her doctor. He ruled out certain possibilities and on Friday 20th April at 3.30 we got the news of her cancer diagnosis. I was on the 9PM flight to Melbourne, thanks to George arranging it with Singapore Air from China where he'd arrived that afternoon. George then got a seat back to Singapore whilst Noor looked after Mya until his return late Saturday night.Mum was at home despite Loretta attempting to get a bed in the Austin Hospital. But it being a Friday night there was a lack of hospital beds exacerbated by road accidents .I arrived in Melbourne at 6am on the Saturday, and by 7am I'd cleared immigration customs and got home by taxi. Loretta andI had kept my arrival a surprise from mum. Loretta answered the door whilst mum was in the shower. I had breakfast whilst mum was getting dressed....luckily mum has a hearing problem :) ...Loretta went in to dry mum's hair with the hairdryer. I snuck up behind, (and if you know Loretta and I, we actually have identical voices). I then took over the hairdryer, and continued the sentence Loretta had started. Mum and I chatted a while, as she sat there on the chair. She was still oblivious to our tricks. Loretta and I could hardly contain ourselves. Then Loretta stood next to mum, incredulous that Loretta was standing next to her and not behind her. So WHO WAS DRYING HER HAIR??? Mum got us to have a look in the mirror and she couldn't believe her eyes. Mum was SO pleased to see me. It was a wonderful moment.We left for the Austin Hospital as soon as Mum was ready, and we immediately got a bed upon arrival. Loretta had been secretly advised the night before that this would be the case. We went into Emergency and by the afternoon she had a bed in the Pancreatic and Liver surgery ward. If she'd got admitted the previous night, she would have been in a general surgery ward and would have had to wait for a specialist bed to come up. So again, what looked like bad luck last night became good luck today.Over the next few days whilst waiting for surgery, we had a ball. Hardly what you'd expect from someone dying of cancer. We were laughing, and enjoying the time together, going over the happy times in our lives. She also made sure everything was in order. Mum is always organised and her legendary lists ensures that she always has everything in order. Mum was even making lists to distribute her beautiful pot plants to her friends prior to going into surgery.
Surgery was delayed, and the stent (tube) they put between her pancreas and liver was eventually completed last Friday. Immediately the jaundice that had turned her skin almost orange started disappearing as the liver began to function again.
Before going into surgery, mum called the anaesthetist and the surgeon and told them that if anything happened and died on the operating table, “It only means it’s my time to go, don’t worry and don’t feel guilty. I have had a good life.” The Austin Hospital was really fantastic for her. Mum had been there previously for her hip operations. The hospital had recently undergone a face lift and is really bright and modern. It was also close to home for us - just a 10 minute drive. All the staff, with only the exception of only one extremely grumpy, gruff cleaner/tea lady who had the misnomer of a title "patient assistant". Ha!! We laughed!!!
Everyone else was exemplary for their respective fields. Of course, they all loved her and like all my friends since my memory serves me, wanted to adopt her. Everyone who meets her for the first time says “What an amazing woman”. Even the anaesthetist phoned us at home and said that he’s never met anyone quite like mum who has such an understanding of herself, her life and of death. Unbeknownst to herself, she has many principles in common with Buddhists.She is very strong in her belief that her time is nearly over and she wants this time to be dignified, not long and drawn out in pain, or weakened by chemotherapy. She has been adamant with ALL the doctors that she does not want resuscitation if anything should happen other than the cancer. The main aim is pain management for when it gets to that stage rather than prolonging life unnecessarily. Most people think that that is a strange way to go, but she has seen very many people in their last months of undergo chemo, others with tubes all over their body and no quality of life, and she is choosing not to go down that path. She also told the doctors to utilise their skills on younger people who have more need of the hospital scarce resources and their specialised surgical skills.

We must all remember that she spent decades working as an interpreter for the Victorian Government. Mum saw many patients’ lives in hospitals. Also, during all her years working as a volunteer with the Greek Elderly in hostels, nursing homes, and foremost as an octogenarian, she has seen many of her friends and relatives die. Mum knows what she does and does not want. She is fortunate enough that she has got her wish. She didn't want to suffer a stroke and be a burden on us all. We are also lucky that she didn’t die of a heart attack or some sudden death, because we all have this precious time to spend together.She was so pleased that in the last two weeks every member of her family came; grandson Chris immediately flew down from Queensland, son-in-law Costa drove down from New South Wales, and all of us flew in from Singapore. She has also had an endless stream of friends visit her.
It’s as if the tables have turned. After so many years of devotion to her family, and mum visiting and supporting hundreds of people during all their life crises, now it’s our family receiving the platters of homemade food to help during the difficult times. That’s what mum’s life has been based on - her family and her friends and her community.
George flew back to Asia yesterday after bringing Mya and Noor (Our Nanny) here to Australia last Saturday. He spent a week mostly with mum, and time just flew. He’s already back in Singapore.
Sunday 4th May 2007. This morning continued typing up mum's Life Story. We've been writing it together over the last 5 years, with plenty of breaks due to distance. I typed it up as much as she has written to date, so she could present it to her Creative Writing Class at the University 3A.
Then we had a lovely visit with mum, we being Loretta, Noor Mya and I. Later we went and picked up Sue and Tony, who had given us a great Aussie BBQ of 15 courses on Friday!!! We went for a drive to Warrandyte to walk along the Yarra River and eat delicious ice creams. Back to some normality.
Saturday 5th May 2007. We had a nice afternoon. After dropping George off to the airport, Trahn my Vietnamese friend with whom I used to work with over 27 years ago, and her partner Hu. They both met us in Hanoi when I was "just a mum of a few days". They came to see mum yesterday afternoon. They brought lots of interesting tropical fruit. Hu, who is a great cook, made some lovely fried rice. After visiting mum we came home for a lovely Asian home-cooked meal. Noor, our two guests and I started our cooking in the kitchen. We made prawn wantons, and a chicken and prawn stir fry. MMMMMM. Also we had some left over Okra (lady’s fingers) made to mum’s recipe. A friend of mum’s turned up with a huge platter of Greek cheese pie - not just homemade pie, but made with homemade filo pastry. Heaven!
It’s lovely to have such special friends who you feel so comfortable with who just become part of your family when they are around. We are blessed to have many friends like that.
Mum had her first pain yesterday and Loretta rushed to hospital which luckily is only a few minutes away. Fortunately by the time she got there the pain had subsided. She was looking a little bit more yellow again yesterday, but that might have been the lighting in the hospital. One thing that is noticeable is mum’s beautiful snow white hair is also looking more yellow? jaundice? lighting? anaesthetic? Or our imagination, who knows?
We’re all bearing up. Very occasionally there are some tears, the occasional migraine, but nowhere near what it could have been like had mum not been so strong. Right from the moment of her diagnosis with pancreatic cancer she set the scene, firstly asking the doctors exactly what it means, how long people with this disease usually live (1 – 3 months) and stating her wishes for a dignified and pain-free ending. She also turned to my sister and said “I don’t want tears and pity, I’ve had 85 good years, and I’m ready to go.”

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