(20) June ends and life goes on.

It has been a long time since I did an update, lots of reasons which I don't won't go into, the main one being exhaustion. Loretta left on Tuesday to go back to her home in Pambula. On Wednesday we were told that the planned respite on Friday for a fortnight looked unlikely as there wasn't a bed. Mum was shattered. I can't tell you what she was like, it was as if she'd suffered a body blow. I reassured her that George and I didn't mind looking after her and we'd get someone in to relieve me after he left.

Anyway, on Thursday we got a call at 9.00am to be at the Hospice by 10.30. Mum ws planning to spend the whole day packing, sorting and getting ready to go on the following day if it was to happen. But when the call came it was a Thursday admission or nothing. It almost killed her to shower, breakfast, pack, and say goodbye to her house in 1 and a half hours. But she did it, even though it sapped every ounce of strength out of her.

The ride into the Hospice was mournful, almost like the time I took dad to the nursing home, knowing inside that this might be our last journey. I held her cold withered hand as I drove in the grey wintery weather, along familiar roads that kept my mind on my mum as she spoke to me about a few very precious events reminding me not to forget them.


Anyway she is currently at Caritas Christi Hospice which is run by the Salvation Army and it has been recently renovated. It's absolutely gorgeous. Mum was lucky enough to get a single bed room facing the garden and the main road - Studley Park Road in Kew. Almost a duplicate of her home environment and views - though they don't match the gorgeous mountain views from our lounge room, but it's very close and just as comfortable. I've put up family photos and George sent two lovely bouquets of flowers. It may not be permanent but it' just perfect.


I went back home to get the things we'd forgotten in the rush, and her best friend came to see why she wasn't there answering the phone. So I took her to visit mum - who was very pleasantly surprised by her first unexpected visitor. Whilst I was getting mum's things sorted in and out of her room, I heard some beautiful music, and later saw that it was a volunteer harpist. So I got mum out of bed and took her and her friend to the lounge and we were treated to some very beautiful live harp music. It was so wonderful, like going to the concert theatre without leaving home.

I know not all days are going to be so beautiful, but it was a lovely welcome, and the volunteers and staff were all wonderfully warm and caring, gentle and suitably mellow in all their words and actions.

The hospice has two beautiful courtyards one with a fountain and inside there is a kitchen where carers and families are encouraged to come a cook. The smell of home cooked biscuits wafted through the Halls. The walks for the patients inside and out all give an open airy feeling. There is a massive indoor aviary in an atrium area with a multitude of interesting birds from quails to brightly coloured exotic birds hiding in and around the rocks, folliage and trees. There is also a dining area where families can eat together at meal times. The large brightly lit tropical aquarium is a lovely feature in that room which overlooks the gardens.


Mum really wanted this respite and she really wanted it at Caritas Christi. We have been very lucky that our doctor introduced us to Eastern Palliative Care who have been wonderful support with a counselor, a biographer, nursesvisiting once a week, 24 hours advice and now this referral to respite.


I don't know if this will be our last journey or if she'll stay in respite longer, but I feel the end is now closer to becoming a reality than ever before. Mum's strength is waning, her weight has dropped - she's lost 12 kilos off her already slight 53 kilo frame, and she battles to keep warm even when fully dressed and in bed. But her smile when Mya and I walked in today was mum's "always smile". I hope I can learn to do that again sometime.

Sorry there are no photos... technology is really letting me down; my usual phone dead, my camera dead, my computers a shambles some emails get in even fewer get out. We'll see if George can do anything when he arrives next week, or we'll be sending the computers back for good and I'll be without internet access again for a while.

Thanks to those of you who have kept in touch and supported me, it's been very lonely at times, but one finds out who really cares, in the tough times.

(19) THE QUIET ACHIEVER

Going through Mum's papers, we found the following awards:

AUSTRALIAN BICENTENNIAL AWARD - 1988
"WOMEN 88"
Out of 1,200 nominations Australia-wide, Mum received a Bicentennial Women's Award - she was one of only 8 Greek Women in Australia to receive one.


AUSTRALIAN GREEK SOCIETY FOR THE CARE OF THE ELDERLY - 1989
"LIFE GOVERNORSHIP"

AUSTRALIAN GREEK SOCIETY FOR THE CARE OF THE ELDERLY - 1991
"15 YEAR SERVICE MEDAL"
Awarded by the Governor General of Australia, Honorable Bill Hayden

FRONDITHA CARE - 2006
"27 YEARS OF SUPPORT AND SERVICE"

(18) Family portrait

Our family at the family luncheon last week.

(17) Humour

"In every cloud there is a silver lining". One of Mum's favourite sayings.

In Mum's cancer diagnosis of course there have been many positive outcomes
- She had her family who were strewn hither and yon, all return to be with her.

- Mya has settled very well into life here and is a tousand times better in behaviour, and happier all round.

- Mya tells me every few days that she wants to stay in Australia and not go back to Singapore. (Hmm not sure if that's positive or a potential problem - let's see.

You may have heard the story of the pet fish, but for sake of this slightly lengthy story I'll repeat it because it gives the backdrop of how Mya has been brought up to think about life an death.

"Mya on life - reincarnation and the practicalities of life."

We bought a new aquarium, and I was concerned that I didn’t know how to look after either the aquarium OR the fish.,- concerned because Mya might react badly if any of the fish (her first pets) died.

So I thought this was a good opportunity to reinforce the Buddhist belief in reincarnation into other forms
of life – after death. “So if the fish died”, I explained to her, "There’s no need to be sad, their soul will go off into another life and their body will remain here - limp. They may become fish again, or they may become humans or some other animal”.

We had bought 2 gold fish, two black fish and a sucker, each being given a name- weird ones like Shi-shi, Jon-Jon,
,Wei-Wei etc (we’ve been in Asia too long – don’t you think). Shi-shi of the gold fish had orange on it’s lips – so it was also named “lipstick” (his Anglicised name ha ha hah). It was Mya’s favourite. We were going well until day 7. I got up in the morning and here was Lipstick, belly up – stone dead.

Oh dear I thought. I now have to tell Mya her favourite fish is dead. So underplaying the death side, I said, “Look Lipstick has gone on to another life.” Worrying how she is going to take it, I didn’t have to wait 2 seconds to hear…. “MUM CAN WE FRY IT NOW?”

So Mya clearly has a sense of eternal life of the spirit.


She said to me the other day “ Mum I love Australia. When do we have to go back to Singapore.?"
I answered.... "When Yaya dies darling"

"Yippee!!!! That means we're never have to go back."

Mum thought it was hysterical.

Oh well, if nothing else, at least, I'm sure now that she understands the concept of death, reincarnation and after life.

(16) Short Reprieve

Mum had her second stent operation first thing in the morning and took a whole day to come out of the anaesthetic. She was groggy and very unwell. Unlike last time when she went back into overdrive in a few hours and was lucid as all of us the same morning, this time she spent all that and the next day feeling quite ill. After some medication, she was feeling better, but declared “NEVER AGAIN”. So with that decision, there will be no more extensions of time and she is so happy to be spending it with her family – at home for as long as possible..

The whole family is back together again this weekend, including Chris from Queensland and George from Singapore. It will be very special with the family gathering being the last one we will have. It will be quite emotional, but we all knew the end was coming. We have been blessed to have been given these past few weeks.

We now have a further reprieve for as long as she stays well.