Dr Mya Rowlands checks mum's pulse.
Mya the Easter Bunny distributed Easter Egss to all the patients and staff at the hospital, all mum's neighbours and lots of friends. Well done for sharing all your goodies Mya.
Pam on Easter Friday with one of her new bags. (Hmm, yes I'm still at it, bag making gives me sanity.) We enjoyed a wonderful BBQ with her and lovely husband Gary.
Yuko and Emma came down from Sydney to see us. We had a wonderful day at the Aquarium together. Yes, they still look like twins don't they?
Sue and Tony at Pam's.
Mum spoke with her local doctor and resumed taking her tablets. She was under the impression they were being administered to prolong her life, but they were merely pain killers.
On the 19th of March she entered Caritas Christi Hospice, a care hospital for the terminally ill. It was just in time, as her health started to deteriorate. We recognized that we could not continue to care for her at home even with the two of us being on a 24 hour roster. She needed to have her pain management administered by qualified staff, and more than this she listened to the nurses’ advice about preventative cover rather than waiting for the pain to take hold. Mum loves her new room at Caritas Christi. It is a huge room with one and a quarter walls of floor to ceiling windows and glass doors which look out over to a lovely established park with massive green trees and Australian Eucalyptus trees.
Loretta flew back for a well deserved break back to her home town of Pambula. Mya and I started Easter holidays and long school holidays with an Easter BBQ at Pam and Gary’s. Tony and Sue also joined us. On Easter Friday Sue and I both felt it was going to be Mum’s last day as she was so weak…Mum thought so too. But in her inimitable style she made it through and continues till today. I did organize her priest to come and give her Holy Communion just in case. She was very appreciative of that gesture. Mum hasn’t recovered her strength since her last heart attack in late February, and she can now barely walk. Though her fiercely independent streak gets her trying every day. She doesn’t have scales to weigh herself, but she wouldn’t be much above 30 kilos. But despite losing weight she continues to have a healthy appetite. She stirs me and says, “I’m eating and losing weight!!” “Yes mum, I want that too – without the cancer thanks.”
We managed to get through the school holidays, which was no mean feat as I hadn’t had time to book Mya into any school holiday program. She had her best friend over a few times and we managed to do several hours of art and craft every single day. Mya did a great puppet theatre which was really fantastic. I enjoyed watching her perform all the parts. By the end of the school holidays I was very grateful for Loretta’s return, for the fact that I could have some adult company at last. You may have gathered we are very open and realistic about the whole situation, but as far as I’m concerned, Mum’s days are numbered. We should be honest and give her whatever she wishes. It is very obvious that her friend’s visits and phone calls really bring her to life.
I took Mum out after a particularly bad day and we went for a drive to where she landed in Australia 58 years ago, to her first home with Dad by St Kilda Beach, and we drove around her favourite spots. We sat and soaked in the beauty of Port Philip Bay and drove around to see how Melbourne has changed. It was a glorious day and her spirits lifted incredibly. It is a year since her symptoms appeared. On April the 20th this year, she will have survived a year since her diagnosis, with the prognosis of living only 1– 3 months at most.She's amazing at 12 months later, her mind is sharp as a tack and her spirit so positive. In that time I’ve only seen her cry 3 times, and more often than not she makes light of her situation.
Recently she said that when we are having the meeting with the Doctor to discuss any future plans, she will say to her….”Look! I only see four options:- 1. Stay here at Caritas, 2. Go to the other similar facility, 3. Go to a hospital or 4. Go straight to Fawkner. And I’d prefer Number Four.” Fawkner is the name of the suburb of her chosen Cemetery where Dad is buried. She laughs at us as she says it.
The Doctor said:
1. Mum is too weak to go back to her independent living unit.
2. Hostel living would be so exhausting for her.
3. The current hospice or nursing home care are the only options.
4. The morphine level is to be doubled.
5. That there is no use in making long term plans as there will be no long term now.
Mum was not shocked at the news. She knew she is coming to the end and she is realistic about her lack of strength. Interestingly although she is in pain often, she says "I'm lucky I'm not in pain." I think that's a way of coping. She does have back pain nightly which has woken her even through her morphine induced sleep (which she calls "HEAVENLY").
Mum is much more settled and at peace knowing that she will not be shunted out of Charitas quickly, and she will return to the nursing home attached to her independent living unit if she needs to be moved at all. I can not tell you how caring and sensitive the staff are at charitas Christie. I'm amazed that they treat every patient and their family with such concern and dignity. I watch people die in nearby rooms, sad when they are as young as me, but the whole place is not depressing. They encourage people to live as normal a lofe as possible. Mya has made friends with an artist there, and we visit her every day, and she loves seeng Mya and getting visits from us. This sort of interaction is so invaluable and makes the place a wam community rather than a place of death. It's hard to describe, but as mum said she was lucky to have her house sold with such little fuss, she moved in to her lovely unit with everything sorted and with a glorious view, and now has a wonderful room in a caring hospital - "what else can you want she says."
Other than that, Loretta and I are enjoying our lives here, though our husbands have spent most of the last 12 months alone. Hats off to their patience and generosity.
If nothing happens, Brett, Mya and I have tickets back to Singapore on the 13th of May. Yes, Brett is returning to Asia to start a career there. Mya and I return to normal family life with "Dad", who is getting all his business travel over now whilst we are away so we can establish our bonds again as the Rowlands family....it'll be great to have Brett with us again. In the meantime we see eachoether every Tuesday and have Yum Cha at the best Dim sum place and we have even had a Mandarin lesson together. Brett will look after Mya for a few days so George and I can take a quick trip to Beijing to see the Olympic facitilites, climb the great wall of China and do a bit of site seeing and (OH NO!!!!!) shopping.
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