(20) June ends and life goes on.

It has been a long time since I did an update, lots of reasons which I don't won't go into, the main one being exhaustion. Loretta left on Tuesday to go back to her home in Pambula. On Wednesday we were told that the planned respite on Friday for a fortnight looked unlikely as there wasn't a bed. Mum was shattered. I can't tell you what she was like, it was as if she'd suffered a body blow. I reassured her that George and I didn't mind looking after her and we'd get someone in to relieve me after he left.

Anyway, on Thursday we got a call at 9.00am to be at the Hospice by 10.30. Mum ws planning to spend the whole day packing, sorting and getting ready to go on the following day if it was to happen. But when the call came it was a Thursday admission or nothing. It almost killed her to shower, breakfast, pack, and say goodbye to her house in 1 and a half hours. But she did it, even though it sapped every ounce of strength out of her.

The ride into the Hospice was mournful, almost like the time I took dad to the nursing home, knowing inside that this might be our last journey. I held her cold withered hand as I drove in the grey wintery weather, along familiar roads that kept my mind on my mum as she spoke to me about a few very precious events reminding me not to forget them.


Anyway she is currently at Caritas Christi Hospice which is run by the Salvation Army and it has been recently renovated. It's absolutely gorgeous. Mum was lucky enough to get a single bed room facing the garden and the main road - Studley Park Road in Kew. Almost a duplicate of her home environment and views - though they don't match the gorgeous mountain views from our lounge room, but it's very close and just as comfortable. I've put up family photos and George sent two lovely bouquets of flowers. It may not be permanent but it' just perfect.


I went back home to get the things we'd forgotten in the rush, and her best friend came to see why she wasn't there answering the phone. So I took her to visit mum - who was very pleasantly surprised by her first unexpected visitor. Whilst I was getting mum's things sorted in and out of her room, I heard some beautiful music, and later saw that it was a volunteer harpist. So I got mum out of bed and took her and her friend to the lounge and we were treated to some very beautiful live harp music. It was so wonderful, like going to the concert theatre without leaving home.

I know not all days are going to be so beautiful, but it was a lovely welcome, and the volunteers and staff were all wonderfully warm and caring, gentle and suitably mellow in all their words and actions.

The hospice has two beautiful courtyards one with a fountain and inside there is a kitchen where carers and families are encouraged to come a cook. The smell of home cooked biscuits wafted through the Halls. The walks for the patients inside and out all give an open airy feeling. There is a massive indoor aviary in an atrium area with a multitude of interesting birds from quails to brightly coloured exotic birds hiding in and around the rocks, folliage and trees. There is also a dining area where families can eat together at meal times. The large brightly lit tropical aquarium is a lovely feature in that room which overlooks the gardens.


Mum really wanted this respite and she really wanted it at Caritas Christi. We have been very lucky that our doctor introduced us to Eastern Palliative Care who have been wonderful support with a counselor, a biographer, nursesvisiting once a week, 24 hours advice and now this referral to respite.


I don't know if this will be our last journey or if she'll stay in respite longer, but I feel the end is now closer to becoming a reality than ever before. Mum's strength is waning, her weight has dropped - she's lost 12 kilos off her already slight 53 kilo frame, and she battles to keep warm even when fully dressed and in bed. But her smile when Mya and I walked in today was mum's "always smile". I hope I can learn to do that again sometime.

Sorry there are no photos... technology is really letting me down; my usual phone dead, my camera dead, my computers a shambles some emails get in even fewer get out. We'll see if George can do anything when he arrives next week, or we'll be sending the computers back for good and I'll be without internet access again for a while.

Thanks to those of you who have kept in touch and supported me, it's been very lonely at times, but one finds out who really cares, in the tough times.